Teentalk

The beginning of puberty brings many changes in a teen’s life. Our hormone levels shoot up, our bodies undergo various changes which are all a signal that we’re going through a transition from teen to tween, and consequently, our curiosity about sex and sexuality increases. Like any other addiction which disrupts our daily lives, watching porn too has become an addiction, especially in teenager boys. Porn depicts a world where relationships mean nothing and the only thing that matters is immediate sexual gratification. This leads to the viewer’s brain being rewired to expect many misconceptions like:

• Relationships are separate from one another
• Bodies of men and women should be sexually exaggerated as they are in porn

The latter one may also lead to shame about one’s own body as well as failure to be excited by the bodies of others.

Below are a few steps which you can take to find if you do have an addiction to porn, tips to understand the issue and change your habit.

1. Acknowledging your addiction

Have a look at these symptoms and answer yourself to get a clearer sense of how much addicted to porn you are:

• Despite trying to leave this habit, you cannot stop watching it
• You get angry or annoyed if you are asked to stop using porn
• All or part of your porn is a secret from your family and friends
• Despite its negative consequences, you continue to watch porn
• You have wasted a lot of time as you've been absorbed in porn

2. Identify your triggers

A trigger is anything that drives you to watch porn. It could be a certain moment in your routine, like going to sleep, or a scantily clad actor on TV, etc. Once you know your triggers, you can replace them with something that will divert your attention until the urge goes away. For instance, if you see a pop-up that drives you to watch porn, switch to something like playing your favourite video game immediately. You might not be able to avoid the pop-up completely, but you can start replacing porn with a habit that’s less harmful. Just make sure that you don’t spend much time merely avoiding.

3. Cut your sources

Removing the sources where you watch porn is also helpful. Scratch the pornographic DVDs, magazines and other tangible sources in a way that they cannot be recovered. If you watch porn online, then use browser extensions or other software that will limit your access to such sites. Internet sensors like StayFocused or Net Nanny might also help.

4. Focus somewhere else

Try to build up a new hobby or habit to replace the time you waste watching porn. Don’t let the time you would spend watching porn stay empty else it will be even harder for you to resist it. Consider which activity or sport do you talk about a lot and then shift your focus towards it.

If you still have a problem dealing with porn addiction, you can chat with our experts or send an email to expert@teentalkindia.com.

Adolescence is a very crucial phase experienced by human beings. This phase brings multiple changes including physical, sexual, emotional, mental, interpersonal, social, etc. during this phase, it is natural for adolescents to explore their sexuality and sexual urges before progressing to adult sexual relationships. Masturbation is one way of exploring their bodies and sexuality. It is a healthy and natural phenomenon which intrigues them.

Masturbation is just a process of self-stimulation and sexual pleasure. When done in moderation, it is healthy. However, it may become a concern when the frequency rises or the act of doing it is inappropriate. There is no number to determine how frequent is ‘too much’. If the process starts hampering your routine, like school, work, relationships, personal progress, etc then it might be a cause for concern.

Adolescents often might resort to masturbation in order to supress their emotional or psychological pain or distress. Emotional pain can be caused due to multiple experiences, some of which may include childhood abuse or trauma. These may result in feelings of anger, rage, despair, helplessness, betrayal, guilt and likewise when often remain hidden. When external facilitation of these emotions is unavailable, adolescents may turn to self-medication in the form of behavioural addictions like masturbation and/or substances.

Masturbation can be addictive because it instantly relieves tension, is easily accessible, costs almost no money, it is mostly a self-reliant activity, and ultimately it’s pleasurable. It helps them escape their feelings and thoughts and temporarily focus on something enjoyable.

Masturbation increases the release of dopamine In the brain, the chemical which makes you feel sexual pleasure. Endorphins are hormones which are released after you are done masturbating which also help relieve stress. Eventually, the brain will demand higher release of dopamine and endorphins as they provide pleasure which is achieved by increasing the frequency of masturbation, hence leading to addiction.

Like any addiction, masturbation can also be managed by firstly recognizing and accepting that this is a concern for you. Once you’re able to identify it, change can be initiated.

Having said that, here are some ways of beginning your journey of healing from unhealthy behavior and turn to a healthier lifestyle.

1. Avoid pornography – Initially, this may be hard to resist but remember, you’re doing this for your well-being. Some relapses are okay.

2. Pick a hobby – Make a list of activities you can indulge in whenever you feel the urge to self-stimulate. Resort to either of them and divert your mind towards healthier and fascinating things to do.

3. Avoid solitude – being alone may trigger urges. Try to be outside, around family, friends, community members, or any environment which can help you avoid succumbing to your temptations.

4. Reflect – Sit back and think about which area of your life is feeling stressed. It could be unmet needs personally, professionally, academically, financially, sexually, socially, emotionally, physically, or anything which can cause distress for you.

5. Start Small – Instead of trying to ‘cure’ masturbation itself, try to take it one day at a time. If you currently masturbate everyday, try cutting it down by one day each week. For example, “This week, I will take a day off on Tuesday.”. Replace this activity with another like meeting a friend, visiting a park or taking a walk.

6. Reward Yourself – If you managed to take that day off, give yourself anything you may have been wanting for a while. Treat yourself, praise yourself, appreciate your own motivation and dedication to feel better. You deserve it.

Remember, addiction cannot be cured overnight. It is a gradual process of persistent work. Having said that, having days when you give in to your urges does not make you weak or a failure. Even if you manage to move one step forward, that is progress. Stay focused, stay strong, stay positive!