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All about Emotional Abuse

Not all scars can be seen

Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse does not leave any scars. However, it has a huge impact on our self-esteem and confidence. Emotional abuse can be in various forms, some of which might not be obvious at first. Anyone who is in an abusive relationship faces emotional abuse at some point in time or another. If you too feel that yours might also be an abusive relationship, there are a few things you can do yourself to get support.

How it feels:

  • You feel you are not good enough
  • You are afraid that your partner will leave you
  • Your partner puts you down or calls you names

Most of the unhealthy relationship involves forms of emotional abuse. A person who abuses you emotionally wants to remove your feelings of self-worth and independence. In such a relationship, one might feel that there is no way out or you are nothing and you will have nothing without your partner. Emotional abuse can be as destructive and damaging as physical abuse and can deeply influence your mental health. It is a common practice of physical abuser to abuse the victim emotionally too as a way of maintaining power and control.

Types of emotional abuse:

  • Verbal violence – yelling, insulting or swearing at you
  • Rejection – pretending not to notice your presence, or ignoring your conversation.
  • Put-downs – calling you names or telling you that you’re stupid, publicly embarrassing you, blaming you for everything.
  • Causing fear – making you feel afraid, intimidated or threatened.
  • Isolation – limiting your freedom of movement, stopping you from contacting other people
  • Financial dependence – controlling or withholding your money, preventing you from working, stealing from you.
  • Bullying – purposely and repeatedly saying or doing things that are hurtful to you.

The impact of emotional abuse

It is true that the scars of emotional abuse cannot be seen, but they are real and long-lasting. They not only have a negative effect on your self-esteem and confidence but also can leave you feeling depressed, anxious and even suicidal.

If this sounds like you and you are experiencing emotional abuse, it’s important that you seek help. Our experts are always there to help you, you can chat with them or send an email to expert@teentalkindia.com

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How Nishtha beat the pain

Warriors that go unnoticed are no less brave than those who get recognition. One such fighter is Nishtha Pathak, who got abused, depressed and suffered Fibromyalgia yet conquered it all
Gousiya Teentalkindia Content Writer

She was in fourth grade, when Nishtha was abused for the first time by her neighbour’s son who was twice her age. “I couldn’t understand what was happening but deep down my heart, I knew it was something wrong”, she recalls. The abuse continued till she reached eighth grade and by seven different men at different times of her life!

When she realised that this was a matter of concern she started to stay away from those people and they, realising that she has understood what this is all about, too stopped their carnal activities. Although she was out of abuse, she had another challenge to overcome.

That was the time she started taking anti depressants as she wasn’t old enough to understand the gravity of what was happening to her.

And nine years ago, she was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, a long-term condition that causes pain all over the body, which is the result of extreme physical and emotional abuse in the past. When asked about the condition Nishtha said, “Hurt is not a big enough word, there doesn’t seem to be a big enough or strong enough word to describe the pain of fibromyalgia”.

“When I tell people that everything hurts, I mean I cannot find a part of me that is not in pain. I don’t know what it’s like to wake up pain-free. There’s tingling, numbing, aching, throbbing, shooting, sharp, knife-like, needle-like, scratching, burning, intense, scary, I’m-going-to-pass-out pains. It’s indescribable. It’s going to end with my last breath. It affects your whole body plus your mind and emotions”.

She was 16 when she was diagnosed with it and was even told honestly by the doctor that there is no cure for the same. So she took an year drop from school to take time to come in terms with the fact that she has certain medical condition that is so intense. Gradually she mustered up the courage to realise that she will have to cope up with it and that too positively for her own good.

All this had taught her to appreciate the low pain level days and to push the limits in the bad ones. Earlier she used to compare herself to others and feel bad about it but with time she has learnt that she is her own competition and has to beat herself up every single day.

Currently, she has a daily routine of going to coaching, gym sessions, studies and fun, all while dealing with Fibromyaligia. She takes good care of herself physically and emotionally. She says the pain doesn’t stop and is still the same as it was nine years back. But now she has built the courage and will to fight it.

 “All of this has made me feel guilty and ashamed at some point of time in my life but then I am unapologetic for who I am. I am a fighter and that’s unapologetically me. Be your own hero and be somebody’s morphine”.

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Disclaimer: TeentalkIndia does not offer emergency services and is not a crisis intervention centre, if you or someone you know is experiencing acute distress or is suicidal/self harming, please contact the nearest hospital or emergency/crisis management services or helplines.