Question : Due to my parents failed relationships.,I got a fear of relationships, I have fear of losing people as I believe every relationship will end up default. I don’t express my feelings to those whom I love even because I fear one day they will leave me Teentalker , 16-year-old
Dear Teentalker,
Thank you for reaching out with your concerns. I am sorry you are carrying an emotion such as fear within you. Sorry that your parents did not have a healthy relationship and the fact that you are carrying a lot within you.
Relationships are essential to human life. One cannot survive outside of them. There are many kinds of relationships such as relationship with self, family, friends and others.
Each relation is as unique as the other.
There are many kinds of people that enter and exit our lives at different time intervals. Parents are the first dyad to begin a family. It is often suggested that parents should have a healthy relationship in order to raise the child in a wholesome environment. The kind of relationship your parents had may have stemmed from various different factors. I understand you may have witnessed the issues between your parents and looked at this relationship as a model for all others. But here is what you can try:
- Try to find a healthy relationship in your life that can model for you the right way to view relationships. Not all relationships will turn out like your parents. There is always good and bad in everything. Try and convince yourself that your relationships will not turn out like your parents.
- Try and challenge the “what if” factor you have in you about all relationships failing or turning out like your parents. Believe that you are worth it. Thoughts about relationships should be positive in your mind. Try and keep a positive outlook toward the concept of relationships. Change the negative self-talk to a positive, reassuring way.
- Try affirmations on positive thinking and boosting of self-worth.
- Open up to others for sure. Open up to your parents and friends. It is important to be open about emotions and issues that bother you. Have faith that others value you as you value them.
- Another fact to keep in mind is that people enter and exit life anytime. You only have to focus on what you need to do for your half of any relationship. DO NOT fear anyone leaving. That is outside of your control.
To conclude, I would say that the biggest fact you need to work on is to challenge your negative thoughts and beliefs about relationships. Your parent’s relationship must not become the only one you take as the prototype for all other relationships. I am also attaching a link for you that is about relationships.
Hope this helps, if you have any other query do connect online for chat between 11am-8pm or drop us an offline message.
Regards,
Expert Teentalk India